Lyrical Silences
by ecstasia
Summary: The story of Haille Logan. Chapter 4 Uploaded Dec. 30.
1. Prologue

Lyrical Silences -- The missing story of Haille Logan

Author -- Melissa Laybhen

Personal Site -- Andrews Website -- story was created by me.

I am NOT the wonderfully amazing Goddess V.C. Andrews who first brought these characters to life, nor am I Andrew Neiderman who continued to make them live. I am merely a fan who loves VCA.

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Prologue  
I grew up in a house of lies. They seemed to grow on the trees that surrounded our house and float through the air that we breathed. No one seemed to notice them but me. And I hated them. But instead of changing my life for the better, I ended up turning out like the people that I hated most.

Instead of fighting them, I clung to the lies that were told to us, as if they were a security blanket I could wrap myself up in and hide away for all eternity.

I have already lost so much due to lies that I chose to live with, and lies that I chose to create. I have lost all that mattered to me, because I was to weak to hold onto the most precious things in my life.

I lost my husband to an awful death in a deep, dark mountainside. That I could not have changed, but I could have changed things so that he knew that I loved him. I have also lost my daughter. And that loss was one that I chose. I pushed her away from me, made her hate me so that she would never ever want me again.

And I lost myself. I lost myself to greed and lust and to the promise of fame that never came my way. I did so many things to try and get the fame I thought I so deserved. I did many disgusting things that I never want to think of again.

And as I sit here writing all this out, the only thought that keeps reverberating inside my head now, is the thought that maybe if I explain everything honestly and truthfully, my daughter will accept me, and want me to be her mother again.


	2. The Black Sheep

Lyrical Silences -- The missing story of Haille Logan.  
Author -- Melissa Laybhen  
Email -- taintedophelia@yahoo.com  
Website -- http://fansofvca.homestead.com  
Disclaimer: This story was created by me. I am NOT the wonderfully amazing Goddess V.C. Andrews who first brought   
these characters to life, nor am I Andrew Neiderman who continued to make them live. I am merely a fan who loves VCA.   
---------------------------  
  
Chapter 1: The Black Sheep  
  
I always knew it my entire life. Even when I was just a mere babe. I knew what Olivia really thought about me. She   
considered me the black sheep of the family, the curse of the Logans. And she never let me forget it.  
  
She wasn't my mother. She told me that herself. Practically gloated. I was the illegitimate child of her insane   
sister. I was Belinda's child. And in this town, I would have been treated like a "Brava," the half African American,   
half Portuguese people that everyone in town shunned. At least I would have been treated that way if anyone knew   
whose child I really was. But Olivia was so afraid of damaging her beloved family name, no one outside of the family,   
and the family of my father, knew.  
  
Samuel however, was the stepfather than any child would be lucky to have. He was always patient, caring, and he always   
stuck up for me. He would convince Olivia to let me date when she said no. He was my savior in this crazy family.  
I was a happy child. And a pretty happy teen. Most times anyway. I lived in a huge house, I had two big brothers   
(Chester and Jacob), a best friend, and a boyfriend. At least I assumed he was my boyfriend.  
  
Kenneth Childs was the son of Judge Nelson Childs. They were a very affluent family and practically untouchable.  
But Kenneth was my best friend. My only friend. And Olivia hated that. She despised our friendship. I believe that she   
despised him, as much as she despised me.  
  
We had one major common ground.  
  
Kenneth's family didn't understand him either. He confided in me that sometimes he wondered why his parents had even   
bothered to have another child, when they acted as if he wasn't even there. I did feel sorry for him. But even sorrier   
for myself.  
  
For I knew that even though Kenneth thought his parents didn't love him, they truly did. He was correct in believing   
that they didn't understand him, but that is not the same as not loving someone. It wasn't the same as my family not   
loving me. And he didn't seem to understand that.  
  
Kenneth was a painter. And every afternoon after school he would hurry to the sand dunes to sit and watch the waves   
breaking, until he was inspired enough to draw. I loved sitting next to him during these times. Even though neither   
one of us spoke, that was my most favorite time.  
  
It was when I actually felt free.  
It was when I actually felt safe. 


	3. Early Morning Confrontation

Lyrical Silences -- The missing story of Haille Logan.  
Author -- Melissa Laybhen  
Email -- taintedophelia@yahoo.com  
Website -- http://fansofvca.homestead.com  
Disclaimer: This story was created by me. I am NOT the wonderfully amazing Goddess V.C. Andrews who first brought   
these characters to life, nor am I Andrew Neiderman who continued to make them live. I am merely a fan who loves VCA.   
---------------------------  
  
Chapter 2: Early Moring Confrontation  
It was a beautiful mid-May morning the day of my high school graduation and I could smell the early summer flowers already   
bursting alive. The whole house seemed to be full of their heady scents and it made me feel like a princess as I carefully   
dressed for what would be my last hours in my high school.  
  
I sat at my cherry wood vanity brushing my hair, gazing out the window at the bright blue waves that crashed upon the beach   
only yards in front of me. I could hear Millie the maid going from room to room making sure that everything was immaculate,   
Edna the cook banging around her pots and pans, and my brothers Chester and Jacob play fighting in the front yard. I heard   
daddy's low roaring laugh and knew that he was watching them make fools of themselves. It seemed to be a perfect morning.  
  
I put the brush down and looked at myself in the mirror. I saw a highly attractive girl with long light brown hair that   
touched my waist, clear blue eyes, and a flawless complexion. My lips were full and pouty and I had applied a pale red   
lipstick to make them look even more sultry. I smiled at my reflection and then suddenly felt a shiver of apprehension   
tingle up my spine. I glance out of the corner of my eye and saw my mother Olivia standing there.  
  
"You sure like to admire yourself, don't you Haille?"  
"There's nothing wrong with that Mother," I said irritably.  
"Actually there is. Pride is a sin," she said spitting the word pride out, as if it left a terrible taste in her mouth.  
"I have every right to be happy and take care in my appearance today Mother. After all, it's not everyday a girl graduates   
from high school."  
"Especially when that girl almost didn't make it."  
I frowned at that remark.  
  
It was true I had nearly failed my senior year, but at the very end had applied myself and pulled up my grades. And I would   
be walking doen the aisle with everyone else in my class.  
  
It was then I heard footsteps in the hall and smiled when I saw my father step into the room.  
  
"Daddy!" I cried, rising and throwing myself at him as if I hadn't seen him in years.   
"Morning pumpkin." He turned to mother and glared. "Isn't a bit early in the morning to be starting in on all that Olivia?   
I mean, please. It is the day of her graduation after all. Let her enjoy it."  
Mother glared at him and then at me. It wasn't often that Daddy took a stand, but when he did, it usually had to do with   
standing up for me that annoyed her to no end. She sighed and her face softened.  
"Fine Samuel. I'll go. But please, let's hurry. We have to get going if we want to make it on time."  
"Yes dear," said daddy mockingly. Mother frowned, spun on her heel and stalked out of the room, defeated.  
"Now Haille, I know that you are planning to attend the late night graduation dance, and that's fine, but please, do me a   
favor and make it back home before one. Your mother and I talked about this for hours yesterday. As you know, she doesn't   
want you to go. But I know that you'll be my good little girl and have fun."  
"Yes Daddy. Thank you so much. I'll make sure that I'm home before you know it!"  
"Good. That's my pumpkin," he said smiling as he kissed the top of my head. Daddy then left and I quickly changed into my   
graduation gown.  
  
It was a beautiful sun dress. I had gotten last week when I had begged Kenneth to take me to town. I had seen it in the   
window and instantly fallen in love with it.  
  
It was a vision of soft pale lilac cotton with slender straps that lay on my shoulders and a skirt that fell above my knees.   
The neckline was decent, however not exactly modest. It was v-shaped and plunged slightly in the valley between my breasts.   
I knew that I looked beautiful in it and knew that I would turn heads. However, there was only one head I was interested in   
turning.  
  
I walked down the stairs into the entryway where my family sat waiting. When I entered, Mother sat up and gasped.  
  
"You cannot wear that! No! I will not allow it."  
"Olivia, leave her alone."  
"No Samuel! She looks like a common harlot! She looks cheap and used! It's disgusting! Get back upstairs Haille. Go! NOW!"  
My face fell. I had just wanted to look and feel beautiful. And now it was all ruined.  
  
Harlot indeed.  
My eyes filled and then I could feel the hot tears sliding down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them away and softly sniffled.  
"Don't cry. Don't you dare cry. No daughter of mine is going to graduate looking so cheap."  
"It doesn't matter. I'm not your daughter."  
  
The room was silent except for my sniffling. I had never dared say those words before even though we all knew that they   
were true. But I couldn't help it. Right then I was glad that I wasn't her daughter. I was glad that she wasn't my mother.   
For I didn't love her. I couldn't love her.  
  
"Haille, please stop crying," said Daddy. "You look beautiful. Go dry your eyes and then come back."  
I walked out and hid behind the door so I could every word that was exchanged.  
" Olivia, leave the girl alone. She looks very pretty. Just let her be."  
"It always has to be your way when it comes to her, doesn't it Samuel? When are you going to learn? She's not the innocent   
child you want her to be. Not with Belinda's blood running through her veins. She's cheap and evil just like Belinda. Why   
can't you see it? I lay in wait for the day that she turns on you as Belinda always turned on me."  
"That's ENOUGH Olivia! NO MORE! You leave her alone. She's not Belinda. And I'm tired of hearing you say such things to her.   
No wonder she's afraid of you. She doesn't know if you like her let alone love her, and I can see why. Leave her alone Olivia   
from now on. Do you hear me?"  
"Yes Samuel, I hear you. But just wait. She'll reveal her true colors. And you'll be sorry you didn't believe me then." There   
was silence and then I heard Mother walk away as her heels tapped along the wooden floor.  
  
I stood cowering. I am not evil. I can't be evil.   
I will not be evil I told myself. I would be everything that my father had said I was. I would show Mother.  
I felt such a surge of pride and love for my father. But it was soon replaced with fear.  
  
Daddy had stood up to Mother and won this time. But what happens to me if she ever wins, I asked myself.  
I was afraid to even think about the answer. 


	4. My Graduation

Lyrical Silences -- The missing story of Haille Logan.  
Author -- Melissa Laybhen  
Email – septemberxbaby@tainted-passions.net  
Website -- http://midnightwhispers.tainted-passions.net  
Disclaimer: This story was created by me. I am NOT the wonderfully amazing Goddess V.C. Andrews who   
first brought these characters to life, nor am I Andrew Neiderman who continued to make them live.   
I am merely a fan who loves VCA.   
---------------------------  
  
Chapter 3: My Graduation  
We drove to my high school in complete silence. Mother was still angry at Daddy, and convinced that   
I would make a huge spectacle of myself and the whole family. Daddy was still furious with Mother's   
actions towards me. I was just plain afraid and nervous. And my brothers were just dumbfounded.  
  
I was never so happy to see my school. As soon as we pulled into the driveway I leapt from the car   
and said I'd meet them later.  
  
As I was walking to the graduation platform I heard a voice behind me, calling my name.  
"Haille!! Wait up!"  
I turned to see Thelma Patterson and Kenneth trying to catch up to me. I stopped and when they   
reached me, we took off together like the "Three Musketeers" we were always said to act like.  
"Haille are you going to the party after the graduation?" asked Thelma eagerly.  
"Sure am. How about you two?"  
"I am definitely," Thelma said nodding enthusiastically. "I was asked to go by Jeff Morrisson!"   
she squealed.  
"Wow! Congratulations. I know that you have liked him forever."  
Honestly I was a bit surprised. Jeff Morrisson was Teddy Jackson's best friend. Teddy was the big   
man on campus, senior class president, and my secret crush.   
"I'm not going to go," said Kenneth. But then I didn't expect that he would actually want to go.  
"Did Teddy ask you to the party?" Thelma asked.  
"Nope. But then I didn't expect that he would." I replied, a little disappointed.  
"Well you know. It could happen when you least expect it Haille," said a deep male voice. A male   
voice that I knew too well.  
I turned and there standing before me was Teddy Jackson looking even more handsome than usual in a   
navy blue day suit. I blushed immediately and looked at the ground. I couldn't believe that he had   
heard what he had said.   
"So Haille. Are you available to go to the party? I'd love to take you," he said smiling broadly.  
"Of course I am!"  
"Okay I'll pick you up at six. Does that sound okay?"  
"Perfect."  
Teddy turned and walked away to join his friends as I stared at him in complete wonder.  
"Haille, I can't believe that you're acting so babyish over someone like Teddy Jackson," said   
Kenneth.  
"Ken, when you fall in love, you'll understand." I said smiling.  
"I already understand," said Kenneth looking at me adoringly, but I was so excited over the fact   
that Teddy had asked me to go to the dance, that I didn't hear him.  
  
Thelma and I continued walking to the classroom where we were all supposed to meet before   
commencement began, giggling and talking about what I would wear that night.  
"Everyone, take your robes and line up!"  
  
Mr. Nyditch, the principal of our high school stood at the front of the classroom and tried to make   
us quiet down. He looked very flushed and very eager to see us gone already.  
"Please everyone! Quiet down. Commencement is about to begin and I need to speak with you all for a   
few seconds."  
After a few minutes during which Mr. Nyditch blew his whistle five times, we eventually were quiet,   
and listened to his speech.  
"Today is the last day that you will all be in this school together as students," Mr. Nyditch began.  
"Thank God!" shouted someone in the back. The whole class began to laugh hysterically as Mr. Nyditch   
glared towards the back of the room. When we finally quieted again, he finished.  
"As I was saying, as today is the last day you'll be here as students, I would like for all of you   
to remember the last four years. Think about when you first came here as freshman and how nervous   
you all were. You've gotten to know each other for the past four years. Think about the friendships   
that you have forged during that time. About all the ups and downs. About how many you almost didn't   
make it to graduation."  
At that one, Mr. Nyditch looked directly at me and I began to fidget with my dress straps. After a   
moment he mercifully began again.  
"These people in this classroom have been your friends. And you may never see them again today.   
Spend these last few minutes reminiscing. Believe me, you'll wish you had years from now." He   
stopped talking and looked thoughtfully at the ground as if remembering an old friend.  
"Okay now that I've bored you to death, please put on your robes. We'll be walking to our seats in   
a single file line very soon."  
  
Everyone began a last minute ritual of checking their hair and makeup. The guys all made sure that   
their ties were straight and that their zippers were zipped. When we heard the first few strains of   
"Pomp and Circumstance," we all lined up and began to walk to our seats.  
Everyone stood in front of their seats until the band finished and then we all sat down together.   
Mr. Nyditch stood at the podium looking over all of us, and began to speak of how proud he was of   
all of us, how amazed he was that every senior in our school was graduating today and no one would   
be held back.  
We sat through a few more minutes of his speech. Then Trish Gardner, our class valedictorian got up   
and spoke of friendships, new and old and how she would miss everyone. She actually began to start   
crying and had to finish the speech in large, gulps of air.  
Then Mr. Nyditch stood again.  
"I am very pleased to present our class singer. This is a very talented young woman. Her voice is a   
wonderful present and I'll bet that her parents are very proud of her.  
"Haille Logan, please come up here."  
I stood up and heard a gasp coming from behind me. Without turning I knew that it was Olivia. I   
could tell she was convinced that I would shame her in front of all the affluent members of Cape Cod.  
I took the microphone from Mr. Nyditch and turned to the audience.  
"I thought about what song I would sing for days and days. But I finally decided that 'In My Life'   
by The Beatles was perfect."  
I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and began.  
  
"There are places I'll remember  
All my life though some have changed  
Some forever not for better…"  
  
As I was singing I found myself doing exactly what Mr. Nyditch had said to do. I thought back. To   
all the events of the last four years. Everything came flooding back to me in a kaleidoscope of   
colors and memories.  
I finished my song and opened my eyes. For a moment there was nothing. Then suddenly everyone began   
to clap and yell. Daddy was loudest of all followed by Chester. However there was one person who   
didn't move.  
  
Mother sat in her seat, the only one still seated, still as a statue, glaring at me.  
I handed the microphone back to Mr. Nyditch who hugged me, and walked back to my seat. Thelma hugged   
me too and Kenneth congratulated me. But all I wanted to do was cry. Everyone loved my song.  
Everyone but Mother. She thought I was making a spectacle of myself.  
And she probably hated me even more for it.  
  
Mr. Nyditch began to pass out the diplomas.   
Our class had 21 people in it. As a Logan, I was one of the last called. When I was called, I   
stood, smiled and accepted my diploma elegantly, the way a Logan would. I stood with my class amazed   
by the fact that within 12 hours I would probably never see most of these people again.  
When Mr. Nyditch introduced our class, I took off my cap and threw it in the air along with everyone   
else. We broke out screaming and I ran around kissing and hugging all of my friends.  
Teddy kissed me quickly on the cheek and whispered to me.  
"Your voice is like an angel's. You are wonderful. I'll see you at six."  
I blushed and walked down the stairs and up to my family.  
  
Daddy picked me up and swung me around.  
"My little girl! She did it!"  
When he set me down again, he leaned over and kissed me quickly on the cheek. Then he handed me a   
large bouquet of peach roses, my favorite. He smiled warmly at me and told me again how proud of me   
he was.  
  
It was then I looked at Olivia.  
She wasn't even smiling. She was fuming.  
And I didn't even know what I had done.  
But I knew that I would pay for it eventually. 


	5. Graduation Dinner

Lyrical Silences -- The missing story of Haille Logan.  
  
Author -- Melissa Laybhen  
  
Email – strangelittlegirl@sherunsaway.org   
  
Disclaimer: This story was created by me. I am NOT the wonderfully amazing Goddess V.C. Andrews who first brought these characters to life, nor am I Andrew Neiderman who continued to make them live. I am merely a fan who loves VCA.   
  
---------------------------  
  
Chapter 4: Graduation Dinner  
  
After my graduation, my family and I went back home and had an early dinner. It was a rare family dinner. One of merriment and joviality. One of lightheartedness and jubilation. Everyone was laughing and smiling. Everyone spoke loud and told outrageous jokes. It was a day for everyone to celebrate. And everyone did.  
  
Well, everyone but Olivia.  
  
Olivia sat at the head of the dinner table as she always did. Her back was as straight as a cane and she looked very regal and had a slightly sour expression on her face. As if she was a queen who was forced to dine with peasants. And that was probably how she thought about it actually. Olivia kept glancing at me. She did not laugh or participate in the joke-telling. However when either Daddy or Chester or Jacob looked at her, she would nod and smile. And then her attention would turn towards me and she would smile that self-righteous smile of hers. One that said "I know that you'll screw up, and I can't wait until you do." I shivered.  
  
"Haille, if you are getting sick then I don't want you going to the beach later this evening," said Daddy frowning at me.  
  
"Beach? Why would Haille be going to the beach?" asked Olivia.  
  
"Haille has been invited to go to a graduation beach party at six. I have already given her my blessing to go and have fun," Daddy said smiling at me.  
  
"And who exactly will be attending this little soiree?" Olivia asked me coldly.  
  
"The entire graduating class with the exception of Rebecca Livingston because she is getting ready to attend summer classes at the college she was accepted at," I mumbled.  
  
"Does 'the entire graduating class' include boys Haille?"  
  
"Yes ma'am." I said quietly.  
  
"Absolutely not! I forbid it. Haille will not be going to that party. I will not have her gallivanting around late at night on the beach with men like a harlot!  
  
Harlot! That was the second time in one day that she had called me that. I felt the tears springing to my eyes and starting to stream down my cheeks like tiny rivers.   
  
"Olivia. You will apologize to Haille this instance. This is her graduation day and I will not have you ruining this day for as you have ruined so many others!" Daddy had started by speaking quietly but had raised his voice so much that by the end of his statement he was practically yelling. Olivia was very quiet and everyone else at the table did not move or speak for fear that Daddy's rage would be turned on them as well. Then she spoke.  
  
"Very well. Haille you may go to beach tonight. However, you must be back home no matter than ten," she said quickly as I started to smile.  
  
"I understand Mother. I will be back home by ten." I was practically ready to agree with anything she had said, even though she had not yet apologized.  
  
"And one last thing. Your brother will be attending the party with you." Olivia sat back in her chair, a smile playing on her lips.  
  
"But Mother, this is only for the people who graduated today," I started objecting.  
  
"Haille it is either you go with one of your brothers, or you do not go at all. I think that your Father would agree that this is not too much to ask," Olivia said looking at Daddy.  
  
"Haille, your mother is right. As long as you get to go, does it really matter if your brother tags along with you? After all you will be on the beach after dark and I would prefer to know that you were safe." Daddy said smiling at me reassuringly.  
  
"Alright Daddy. I understand." I said smiling again.  
  
"Chester, you will go with Haille tonight and make sure that she stays out of trouble. I would send Jacob, but he must go to Boston tonight and pick up the freight that has arrived. You will not let Haille out of your sight," Olivia said, looking at me in a way that clearly meant that I was not to be trusted to be on my own.   
  
"This has been a lovely dinner and as this matter has been taken care of, I will be going to my office now. I have many things to finish up tonight. Samuel please make sure that you have checked the truck. I do not want Jacob to have any problems with it tonight." Olivia stood up and started to walk out of the dining room.  
  
"Olivia. Don't you have something to say to Haille?" Daddy asked quietly.  
  
Olivia stopped and turned slowly. She raised her head and looked directly at Daddy for a moment and then turned and looked at me as she spoke.  
  
"I do not believe that that is necessary. Good night."   
  
She stood for another moment looking at me, and then pivoted and walked out of the room. 


End file.
